Top 5 Things Men Do That Will NEVER Be Cool!

You know how there are things you HAVE to do in life that suck? Like get your boss lunch or clean the bathroom or get your cars oil changed? Well those things do not fall into this category. This is the list of things that some men do that will NEVER look cool. No matter how hard they try, it just isn’t cool. Here is the list:

5. Eat a Banana – There is something about a banana and eating it from the peel that just never looks cool for a male. Call in the sexual innuendos or the ridiculous looking shape and color, the male eating a banana looks stupid. Also, there is nothing more terrible than a man not being able to peel a damn banana. People have every method in the book, peel from the top, peel from the bottom, blah blah blah. Has anyone actually had trouble peeling a banana? If you want to avoid looking uncool, just cut it up into your Honey Nut Cheerios and call it good.

4. Pop Collar – This is an easy one. Nothing screams D-bag or “bro” more than the popped collar, and the pink one at that! Remember the trend awhile ago with the double popped collar? I mean some males that are fairly young in age went through college thinking that this was a trend that was actually cool. They will get married some day and during their slideshow on their wedding night, they will be embarresed with pictures of how cool they were with their popped collars…unless of course they still think it is cool and popped the collar under their tux…

3. Wearing Sunglasses inside a dark room – I think Miller Lite did a commercial about this awhile back, but it holds up. Wearing Sunglasses in a bar is not cool. First of all, I am not even sure how you can SEE wearing them. I can barely wear them inside with lights turned on and see. Sunglasses being worn inside a bar is not only not practical, you just look like a moron. You know what no one has ever said before? “Damn, that dude over there in those killer shades putting back Jaeger Bombs is awesome! I want to make sure I meet him and hang out with him.” So, unless you are the Blues Brothers (which you are not) or Men In Black about to flashy-thing someone, please take the sunglasses off and put them away…which leads me to my next point…

2. Wear sunglasses on the back of their neck – The only thing worse than a dude that wears his sunglasses inside a dark building “for style” is a dude that reverses his sunglasses and hangs them off the back of his neck. Oh you just dropped a buck fifty on your new shades and are afraid to scuff them up? Then get a case. You look stupid.

1. Drive a Jetta of Fiat – There is a website devoted to hot girls in Jetta’s. You can find it here. Women and Jettas go together like Peanut butter and Jelly. You know what doesn’t? A grown man driving one. And honestly, as much as I hate the cars overall, good looking women and Fiats go together quite well too. But you know what? Men cannot pull off either of these cars. Some have tried, and all have failed. Seriously, if you haven’t seen a Fiat yet, go check one out. And then get in it and when you are sitting behind the wheel, ask yourself this question: “What would a girl think if I rolled up to her pad in one of these for a date, honked the weak ass horn, and made her sit literally about 2 inches from me for the entire car ride?” She would probably think, “So I met a new friend…” and that would be the end of your date and courting. Just ask Jorah Mormont…Basically, a man cannot look cool in a Jetta or Fiat.

This picture will be regretted on his Wedding day picture slide show. Or funeral. Which ever comes first. He might have a hard time finding a wife with that.

What else do men do that will never look cool? Perhaps this is a question best left to ladies, but men can certainly answer it as well! Leave some thoughts down in the comments.

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