Top 15 Fictional Crushes!

From College Humor:

 

Seth on Jules

15. Seth on Jules (Superbad)

“Be yourself” is advice largely ignored when it comes to wooing ladies, but Superbad establishes pretty early on that Jules is actually kind of into Seth as-is. Seth’s crush on Jules goes for more of a will-they-won’t-they than a will-she-settle-for-someone-she’s-obviously-better-than? Meaning the whole thing plays out much more naturally than in other comedies, and that we, the viewers, don’t have to miss out on Seth doing things like verbally abusing a homeless man or head-butting the woman he loves.

Miss Piggy on Kermit the Frog

14. Miss Piggy on Kermit the Frog

The only female-on-male crush to make the Top 15, Miss Piggy’s endless pursuit of Kermit the Frog is one of the defining characteristics of the entire Muppets franchise. Piggy and Kermit’s relationship hasn’t always been a perfect model of romance, but what it lacks in tenderness it more than makes up for in pure persistence. As that old saying goes: if at first you don’t succeed, trick him into marrying you, like, a dozen times.

Milhouse on Lisa Simpson

13. Milhouse on Lisa Simpson

As horrible as unrequited love is in practice, it makes great television. The outcome of Milhouse’s pursuit of Lisa has never been in any doubt, but that doesn’t stop us rooting for him every time. On the bright side, we’ll always have those episodes set in the future where’s she’s inexplicably with him for a while.

Link on Zelda

12. Link on Zelda

Love makes us do crazy things, but even Link seriously pushes the envelope with the kind of shit he pulls to impress Zelda. We’ve all been there. Sure, it’s a nice gesture to run a little errand or two for your squeeze, but all too soon those errands start running into the dozens, and those little errands are in all actuality life-threatening epic journeys. Link’s devotion and servitude to Zelda remains unwavering, which is admittedly cute, but he’d better be in for some serious snuggling once all’s said and done. That is, if he doesn’t die in the name of his one true love. Which he probably will.

Peter Parker on Mary Jane Watson

11. Peter Parker on Mary Jane Watson

I’ve seen enough movies to know that revealing your secret superhero identity is a terrible idea for all involved. It puts your loved ones in danger, it compromises every facet of your personal life, and you might get a bill for all those buildings you inadvertently destroyed that one time. Despite all this, I know if I had some rad powers, I’d tell everyone I possibly could in a heartbeat. Which goes to show just how much Peter Parker loves Mary Jane since it took him FOREVER to let the love of his life in on the one detail which would redeem him and bring them together. Also she calls him “Tiger” a lot, and it takes a serious bond to overlook that.

Corey Matthews on Topanga Lawrence

10. Corey Matthews on Topanga Lawrence

It would be impossible to begin talking about these two without first acknowledging the current plans to release a Boy Meets World sequel series about Cory and Topanga’s daughter. As unbearably exciting as this is for all of us, we mustn’t lose sight of this union’s origins as an on-again-off-again love-hate teen couple. Here’s to Cory and Topanga, the only people to ever be happy after marrying straight out of high school.

Ross Gellar on Rachel Green

9. Ross Gellar on Rachel Green

Ross and Rachel will perhaps forever be the benchmark for any successful TV relationship, but that doesn’t mean it came easy for them. Save for the occasional storyline, Ross spent pretty much the entire series pining over Rachel no matter who he was getting married to that year. And that’s true commitment.

Scott Pilgrim on Ramona Flowers

8. Scott Pilgrim on Ramona Flowers

Few crushes are as quantifiable as Scott’s over Ramona Flowers, who watched her beau fight off 7 villains to finally be with her. That’s not only a super romantic story, but also one that’ll be really easy to hold over her head for the rest of their lives. “Oh, you want to rent ‘I Don’t Know How She Does It?’ well, I guess one of us doesn’t remember that time I was stabbed to death just to get you to date me. That’s what I thought. ‘Zookeper’ it is.”

WALL-E and EVE

7. WALL-E and EVE

WALL-E’s wooing of EVE plays out entirely silently. We rely only on movement and expression to believe in the love the two of them share. It’s a testament to both the writing of these moments and of the characters themselves that a love story between two robots and not a word of dialogue can be so viscerally moving, as well as an opportunity for a timely parody: “You had me at BEEP BEEPBEEP.”

Ted Mosby on Robin Scherbatsky

6. Ted Mosby on Robin Scherbatsky

By now we’re pretty sure that Robin isn’t the mother we’ve been hearing so much about. Considering it’d be absolutely impossible that, accounting for the information we’ve been given about her by now, and they fact Robin looks set to be marrying another man, there’s just no way the two are one and the same. Still, there’s that tiny part of you that just knows it’s going to be her. Either way, Ted’s hopeless longing for Robin throughout the series has been a highlight, and that’s saying something in a show that frequently involves Jason Segel slapping people.

Fry on Leela

5. Fry on Leela

Though they’ve been a happy couple at time, Futurama just isn’t Futurama unless Fry’s trying desperately to win over an ambivalent Leela with ill-advised schemes. I’m not saying I want Fry to remain romantically unfulfilled and miserable forever. Just as long as the show continues to exist.

Leonard Hofstadter on Penny

4. Leonard Hofstadter on Penny

What’s refreshing about the seemingly endless teasing of the Leonard and Penny pairing is how little Leonard’s nerdier… inclinations have anything to do with why she might not like him. He’s sometimes just a terrible person! It’s this kind of earnestness that really invests a viewer in something that’s been dragged out for much longer then it should be. That and how great the names “Leonard and Penny” work as a couple name.

Eric on Donna

3. Eric on Donna

I’ve never believed in love more than during Eric and Donna’s basketball/gab sessions. It’s the perfect harmony of what they both want out of a relationship, even if they don’t quite know they want it with each other yet. Then again, I also believed they weren’t smoking pot on that show, thinking sometimes the characters just sat in a circle and said wacky things. Don’t trust me.

Jim Halpert on Pam Beesly

2. Jim Halpert on Pam Beesly

It seems, looking down this list, that the secret to any good crush storyline is agonizing longevity. Looking back from our current position in season 9, it’s hard to think of three years as a long time. But when you consider Jim and Pam’s original UK counterparts were united after just 12 episodes, it was a heart-wrenching wait. Some might argue Jim and Pam’s coming together compromised the show’s best dynamic, but they’re dumb, it was obviously meant to be.

Ron Weasley on Hermione Granger

1. Ron Weasley on Hermione Granger

Ron and Hermione’s undying love came from sort-of left field, which is nothing but a testament to the believability of the friendship they had before the relationship. What really made us want to root for Ron in his infatuation with his best friend was how human everything felt. In a world of evil wizards, dragons, and some dweeb with glasses being the most popular kid in school, Ron was just some spacey redhead who liked a girl. For all their time spent chasing monsters and plotting their survival, Ron and Hermione’s greatest adventure was love all along. Haha, just kidding. Prisoner of Azkaban was the bomb.

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