Doctor Who Artwork!

Here are some amazing examples of art inspired by the TV show Doctor Who!




Where Have You Seen Them Before: Game of Thrones!











































































Doctor Who: 9 Dropped Plot Threads We’ll Never Get Answers To (And 1 We Will)!


Since Doctor Who came back in 2005 it has evolved from being a Saturday teatime treat for British children (and their nostalgic parents) to one of the chief geek shows on TV. Heightened episode quality coupled with the increased popularity in America have turned Whovians into a force that have Trekkies quaking.

Who has relished this new found popularity, becoming increasingly dual layered. While the core child audience can still enjoy the fantastical stories, episodes have hidden hints and seemingly throwaway references that provide clues for fans about where the show is heading.

Unfortunately, with this comes plot threads that don’t end up explored; for every reference that gets a payoff down the line, there’s one that fans put weight on that never becomes anything. While this is certainly more prominent with Steven Moffat’s writing, it’s been a problem across the whole series.

Coming up are nine such plot threads I doubt we’ll ever get any resolution to, along with one long standing arc we’ll likely get enlightened on very soon. I’ve decided to stick with nu-Who, primarily because this is where the continuity began to be fully chronicled, highlighting these dropped threads.

The One We Will – The Time War


The biggest change made to the series when it was revived, the Time War killed off all the Time Lords and Daleks, making the Doctor the last of his kind. Slowly hinted throughout Davies and Moffat’s era we gradually gleaned small bits of information regarding its events; it’s time locked, the Time Lord’s went mad, the Doctor ended it.

Still, there’s a big air of mystery around the war and fans have long been waiting for something more than a throwaway comment. The Time Lords’ presence in The End Of Time helped, but they were more confirming what we suspected rather than offering anything new.

But The Time War doesn’t make the main list because, if the popular fan theories end up true, the 50th Anniversary special may finally shed some light on it. Which Doctor John Hurt is playing has been the key debate since his shocking reveal at the end of The Name Of The Doctor and the enduring theory is that he is the one who killed the two races, placing him between Paul McGann. This is the longest plot thread in nu-Who, but likely one we’ll get an answer to very soon.

9. River Learning The Doctor’s Name


Forget the sonic screwdriver and Tardis book, what really put River Song on the map as an important character was her knowing the Doctor’s real name. The show’s biggest mystery since it’s inception, having a character know it was a bigger deal than the Dalek’s returning, again.

Fans jumped at the theory that River knew this because she was his future wife, having learnt it at their wedding. This was initially confirmed in The Wedding Of River Song when the Doctor said as such to the audience, until five minutes later it was revealed he’d said something completely different. The problem here is obvious; if the Doctor said “look into my eye” (revealing he was actually the teselecta) instead of his name, when did River have an opportunity to learn it? The implication for the Library two-parter was that there was only one time the Doctor would give his name, so he either wasn’t referring to a wedding or they weren’t married properly in this alternate reality rush job.

Unless the Doctor’s real name is Lukintomyeye this is not only a dropped story thread, but a major plot hole. Given that this hasn’t been mentioned once since I think its just assumed River learnt the name then somehow.

Potential Solution: The Doctor said more than one thing to her.

8. The Duck Pond With No Ducks


When Steven Moffat took over as head writer he brought a different approach to overarching stories, not only lying clues but actually having the plots of earlier episodes directly link into (and often not make sense until) the finale. Some argue he went too far with the River Song/Silence sixth series, but the only time he really dropped the ball was in the very first episode of his tenure.

There was always something off about Amy, as the Doctor kept repeating. It was eventually revealed the crack had claimed her parents, creating an odd, messed up world for her. But while that explained a lot of things that initially seemed off, there’s still some elements in The Eleventh Hour that still don’t make sense.

When running around the small village Amy and Rory live in (living in London was so Russell T. Davies), the Doctor makes a throwaway remark about there being a duck pond with no ducks. Given this is a disappearance, in the same way people have disappeared into the crack, many assumed it was directly tied into the series overarching mystery; the first clue in a deep mystery. But unlike other odd moments throughout Series 5 that didn’t make sense (what the Doctor said to Amy in Flesh And Stone), this was never explained (or even mentioned again).

Was it the crack in general or was it more directly related to Amy? We’ll never know.

Potential Solution: The crack somehow took them.

7. The Clerics


Back when the identity of River Song was just a glint in Moffat’s (and Rory’s ) eye, her appearances were an addition to an already exciting plot, rather than the plot itself (although I have no problem with either). Funnily enough, in her first team up with Matt Smith (in The Time Of Angels) she isn’t the biggest mystery. What really confuses are the militarised clerics.

Here the clerics regarded the Doctor with real respect, looking up to him and even warning him of River’s destructive role in his future. When we see them again in A Good Man Goes To War, about a century or so later in their timeline, they still regard him as a higher being, but this time they’re creating a weapon to destroy him.

Why they call themselves the Church is dismissed away by the Doctor in their first appearance (they’re an evolution of the modern religions here on Earth), but we never get a hint at what causes them to take a complete u-turn against the Doctor. It can’t have been the Silence controlling them as they’d been rendered weak by the moon landing footage and given they knew River would be trained to kill him, it paints them as a pretty dumb sect.

Potential Solution: They became more financially than religiously motivated and the Silence bought them out.

6. The Silence


A much bigger story arc than the rest on this list, The Silence have been a presence throughout Matt Smith’s time as the Time Lord – they blew up the Tardis creating the cracks in Series 5, all looking forward to stop the finale of Series 7 – but they were most prominent in Series 6.

The thing is, even though their ultimate goal (to stop The Great Intelligence from destroying the Doctor’s past and causing silence to fall) was seemingly reached on the second attempt (after blowing up the Tardis backfired), you’d expect an ancient religion who’d obsessed over this for millennia would actually double check they’d succeeded. If I’d gone to the lengths of kidnapping a child from the most powerful being in the universe I’d want to be 100% certain it had been time well spent.

In the alternate universe the Silence was destroyed, but as that had Winston Churcill as the Roman Emperor we all assumed it wasn’t real, implying the Silence and Madam Kovarian are still out there. I guess Moffat heard some of the complaints about the series’ serialisation and cut them out.

Potential Solution: The intelligent society went dumb and didn’t check.

5. The Doctor’s Daughter


Coming at a time when Doctor Who spin-offs were all the rage (Torchwood and The Sarah Jane Adventures were both in full swing) many assumed Jenny, the Doctor’s ‘daughter’ was intended for a similar fate. A purely stand alone episode, there was a tacked on ending that had her regain life and escape off into the stars.

Since then, fans have been waiting four years for her to resurface to no avail. The ending of The Doctor’s Daughter was so explicit in her survival that once a spin-off was off the cards it was assumed she’d be key in stopping Davros or The Master or whoever the next major villain was after she failed to turn up.

Steven Moffat was allegedly behind her resurrection, leading to all manner of crazy fan theories relating to his Whoniverse, but now I think it’s time to forget this one. Doctor Who rarely has threads hanging over a period this long and when it does, they aren’t just dropped and picked back up suddenly, but slowly teased out, like with River Song.

Potential Solution: She went on to live a normal, unremarkable life. Maybe with a human version of the Tenth Doctor.

4. The Doctor’s Character Changes

Water Gif

The David Tennant specials were a mixed bag that exemplified the Davies era. There was traditionally Who-ish concepts realised disappointingly (Planet Of The Dead), an assured, different one (The Waters Of Mars) and an overly bombastic finale that threw everything in the mixing pot with only some of it working (The End Of Time).

The best of the lot, The Waters Of Mars introduced two really interesting avenues to be explored that were cut short by the end of the episode.

The first was something mostly absent from the Davies stories – messing with fixed events. We got to see a Doctor finally disregarding the rules of the destroyed Time Lords and changing time. Yes, time does correct his actions much to his disdain, but there was a major character change here that would lent itself to more stories.

The second is something that we did finally see with Matt Smith in Series 6; a Doctor who was ready to die. After the previous example had been corrected, Ten expressed a desire to die that was absent when we saw his next in his final adventure. It’s a shame this change was reverted, but even though Tennant is returning for the anniversary special this is an avenue that was never explored beyond one scene

I guess Davies wanted to look at these elements of the character, but given the short time left he rushed the job a bit. The themes are given focus, but not as much as you’d imagine they warrant.

Potential Solution: It’s all off-screen.

3. The Doctor’s Lie About The Gamma Forest


Here’s one that when the episode aired I immediately jumped on as key foreshadowing, but others seemed to miss (there were much bigger reveals to be dealing with I guess).

Throughout A Good Man Goes To War, the dwellers of the Gamma forest were a unexpectedly key presence. River uses them as an example of the Doctor’s increasingly war like ways and it’s through their simplistic language that Melody Pond’s true identity is revealed. But that’s not all.

The Battle of Demon’s Run not only leaves Strrax dead (a pretty major plot hole given his recurring appearance), but claims the life of the one Gamma resident we actually met, Lorna. As she dies she asks the Doctor if he remembers her and he painfully says yes.

The look on Matt Smith’s face, coupled with his heartbreaking “Who was she?” says it all; he didn’t remember Lorna because he was yet to meet her. There was also a suggestion that, as he’s known as a great warrior to them, he line about them running was the point when even Lorna knew he was lying. The way the script leaned so heavily on it hinted this was going to be a big event in his future, but there was nary a mention of this after the episode.

It may have been that the Doctor had been going so off the rails that he’d begun to forget adventures, but that strikes as a bit too much.

Potential Solution: It wasn’t important after all.

2. Is Series 7 Really Out Of Order?


In A Town Called Panic the Doctor references Rory leaving a charger in Henry VIII’s bedroom. In the next episode, The Power Of Three, we see that happen. But wait, the Doctor’s a time traveller, not a fortune teller. What’s going on here?

There’s two theories. The episodes could have just been aired out of the scripted order leading to this slight discrepancy. But one many fans jumped onto at the time was that the episodes were purposely out of order, suggesting the first half of Series 7 was in reverse.

This creates a depressing timeline where the Doctor looses Amy and Rory, but still gets some adventures with his lost friends. This theory can be furthered by suggesting the Daleks picking up the Doctor out of sync with Amy and Rory (he’s post New York, but they’re before it).

This was a popular theory back when the series aired, but the events of The Snowmen, with the Doctor being a hermit after the events of New York suggests he immediately puts his travelling ways behind him, going against his joviality in the earlier episodes. Whatever, the case is, we never got any world confirming it either way and are still left with two episodes that don’t make sense.

Potential Solution: Episode 3 and 4 of Series 7 are the wrong way round.

1. Jack Harkness’ Future


This is the biggie. The one you’ve been hoping for every time you click next. Well here it is. One throwaway line that changed the perceptions of a character forever.

Clearly Jack wasn’t originally intended to be the Face of Boe and I suspect it wasn’t even a fully formed idea when the Face died. But come the end of Series 3 he revealed his old nickname was the same as the big head in a jar, setting the internet alight with speculation.

Jack’s appeared a couple of times since on the main show and this wasn’t mentioned at all, suggested Davies had little interest in confirming or denying the rumour. It is admittedly more fun to keep it open, but there’s nothing quite like closure.

It’s believable that the immortal Jack would eventually change in appearance (and reproductive system) to the extent where he was alien to what he originally was, but given the variable rules of Who it can’t be taken as gospel until there’s some proof. John Barrowman has been consistently rumoured to be to the series, but given no one from the Davies’ era (Tennat excluded) has been in Moffat’s Who this’ll be something that’s never going to be explained beyond the hint we got.

Potential Solution: Just say it’s true. It’s a lot more awesome that way.

8 First Generation Pokemon Dumber Than Anything That Came After!

8 First Generation Pokemon Dumber Than Anything That Came After

There’s always a lot of grumbling whenever a new generation of Pokemon games come out – primarily that Nintendo is scraping the bottom of the PokeWell and coming out with ridiculously stupid designs for Pokemon, like ice cream cones and ghost swords. But the truth is that Nintendo has always included incredibly dumb Pokemon designs (with some even dumber names), ever since the very beginning. Here are 8 first generation Pokemon that are dumber than anything that came after.

8. Porygon

8 First Generation Pokemon Dumber Than Anything That Came After

Pitch: “Hey, you know what’s crazy? Computers. What about a computer program Pokemon? Yeah, sure it can exist in the real world, even though it’s explicitly made of virtual polygons.”

Porygon’s an incredibly dumb idea for a Pokemon. It’s literally made of programming code, but it somehow interacts with the physical world. In other words, it makes no sense at all and Nintendo just thought it would be neat to have some kind of Pokemon to take advantage of the “computer” fad that was sweeping the world.

How Lazy Is The Name: It’s like Polygon, but we replaced the L with an R for some reason. Possibly to sound like an incredibly racist impression of a Japanese person? We can only hope.

7. Lickitung

8 First Generation Pokemon Dumber Than Anything That Came After

Pitch: “It’s like…a dinosaur or something. That’s not important. What is important is that it has a huge tongue. Like bigger than a normal tongue would be. Also, it’s always out for some reason. That’s enough to justify an entire Pokemon, right?”

This is why no one should ever listen to KISS and try to design a Pokemon at the same time.

How Lazy Is The Name: Well, it has a big tongue and is named ‘Lickitung.’ It would take a lot of effort to think of something lazier than that.

6. Snorlax

8 First Generation Pokemon Dumber Than Anything That Came After

Pitch: “A fat, sleeping…thing. Maybe a cat? Who cares? The point is, it’s very sleepy and fat.”

The mark of a truly lazy Pokemon design is that it’s doesn’t hold up too well when you begin to question the design. What is Snorlax? A cat? A bear? Nobody really knows (just kidding, I’m sure there is extensive documentation on Snorlax’s exact physiology, because literally every corner of the Pokemon world has been filled in by the internet). But the primary attributes that were given to Snorlax are “Fat” and “Likes To Sleep.” Sound familiar?


How Lazy Is The Name: Snore + Relax = Snorlax! Actually, not bad – it rolls off the tongue nicely and takes some effort to figure out, and at least it isn’t named “Fatsleep” or “Obesetired” or “Garfield The Pokemon But Like Blue Or Something Who Cares.”

5 Magnemite

8 First Generation Pokemon Dumber Than Anything That Came After


8 First Generation Pokemon Dumber Than Anything That Came After


4. Exeggutor

8 First Generation Pokemon Dumber Than Anything That Came After

Pitch: “Remember that group of eggs that are a single Pokemon? Well they evolve into a palm tree. A walking palm tree. A walking palm tree that’s growing eggs (we’ll call them ‘seeds’ in the Pokedex entry, but c’mon, those are clearly sentient eggs).”

What IS Exeggutor? A walking tree with eggs hanging off it (less eggs than it evolved from, no less)? I don’t know, and neither does Pokemon. Instead of having Exeggcute evolve into a bunch of chickens or something, they realized they needed another grass-type and had it turn into…this thing.

How Lazy Is The Name: The name is actually awesome. As much as you can grumble about a palm tree with eggs, you can’t say this name isn’t cool. Well, you can, but you’d be wrong.

3. Jynx

8 First Generation Pokemon Dumber Than Anything That Came After

Pitch: “It’s, like, a lady. But she doesn’t have a nose. But she’s pretty much just a person. Also, is blackface still an okay thing?”

Jynx is very close to just being a short, stout lady without a nose (also with some seriously racist-as-hell origins). It’s more or less a person, but has some traits in line with various Nordic and Japanese folklore that saves it from being “a blonde lady who is a Pokemon.” Still, it looks a lot like a blonde lady who is a Pokemon.

How Lazy Is The Name: Jynx isn’t a bad name, and it actually seems pretty prescient on the part of the developers to name the Pokemon after a word that means “bad luck,” given the headaches this Pokemon gave them from people who were anti-racism.

2. Voltorb

8 First Generation Pokemon Dumber Than Anything That Came After

Pitch: “We need some filler Pokemon. Like, something we already have a design for that’s incredibly simple, but with eyes or whatever. Oh, I know – we already have all these Pokeball sprites. Why not just put some eyes on ’em and call it a Pokemon? Hell yeah.”

I would say the odds are pretty good that someone realized that every item was represented as a Pokeball, but it might be good to surprise the player every now and then by having the item turn out to be a Pokemon in disguise. But to make it almost make sense, they decided to have a Pokemon who just happens to look just like a Pokeball. They didn’t bother to think “oh, this is really, really dumb.” I don’t think it’s any coincidence that this Pokemon’s signature move is “kill itself.” Even Voltorb knows it probably shouldn’t exist.

How Lazy Is The Name: The name ‘Voltorb’ is actually pretty good – ‘volt’ as an indicator of its electric-type attribute, and ‘orb’ because it’s a spherical object. Really, it’s half-way decent name is the only thing keeping this thing from the #1 slot.

Speaking of…

1. Mr. Mime

8 First Generation Pokemon Dumber Than Anything That Came After

Pitch: “I saw a mime once. What if that human being in make-up pretending to be stuck in a box was a Pokemon?”

Mr. Mime is basically a person. Just a regular person. Not an animal, not an inanimate object, not a made-up thing. Nothing implying supernatural powers or abilities that would be useful in battle. A human entertainer. It’s hard to imagine someone at Nintendo hadn’t just seen a mime outside and said “eh, that guy could be a Pokemon.”

How Lazy Is The Name: Here’s the issue – Mr. Mime and Jynx are both very lazily-designed Pokemon. They’re both pretty much “people who are Pokemon for some reason.” But Jynx at least makes an attempt to be something more with the design and ice-type implying connections to some supernatural folklore stuff. Mr. Mime doesn’t do that.

But worst of all – IT’S ACTUALLY NAMED “MISTER MIME.” It would be impossible to think of a lazier name than this, because it even sounds like someone desperately trying to think of a name at the last second and coming up empty. “Mister…Mime?” Hell, even calling him “Mimey” would have been better.


By Andrew Bridgman at

Top 5 Scenes from Game Of Thrones Season 3!

Ok, so obviously there will be spoilers…but this show has been over for a month now so I think it is ok to talk openly about this season. This season of Thrones was lulling at some points but always wonderful. Every scene was packed with wonderful acting, amazing writing and beautiful sets. Here are my top 5 favorite scenes from this season:

5. Tywin and Olenna have a chat – A scene that never really happened in the books, this wonderful scene was a total battle on screen. Two powerhouses going at it with words and threats instead of swords and knives, this scene saw the balance in power shift from Tywin to Olenna back to Tywin in a matter of minutes. With commentary one what power is and whether homosexuality is a normal thing or an abomination, this scene was beautifully crafted. Not to mention there are some truly comedic moments!

4. Arya Killing a man – We have seen Arya be around death for quite some time now. We have seen her even mistakenly kill a fat stable boy. We have seen her pray for the death of others, seen her take names of people she wants to kill and even seen her ask for death. But in the last episode, we see a stunned, world shattered Arya finally snap and outright murder a man. That, ladies and gentleman, was so cold stuff. She played the part of a lost, hungry little girl and then BOOM, with mastery and precision, stabbed a dude multiple times in the neck. That simple. That awesome.

3. Dany Freeing the Unsullied – Daenarys is someone that is rather boring to me. She is just so, I don’t know, blaaaaah. Especially show Dany. She is preachy and one minded. This season was no different at all. But she does shine in a scene that is ripped pretty much directly from the books. She quietly barters for the Unsullied, listening to the foul tongue trader berate her and call her a whore. She gathers information, realizes how the system works and when the slaves are finally hers, she orders them to kill all the slavers. She basically frees a city, gains an army and makes a name for herself all in one go. The scene is wonderfully shot with the amazingly triumphant music blaring in the background. Really well done.

2. Red Wedding – How is this not number one?! Well, it was really well done. Everything from the look on Roose Bolton’s stone face when Cat pulls back his tunic, Robb’s surprise when he stands up and takes an arrow to the chest, and Caitlyn’s powerful, empty scream at the end of all the madness before he throat is slit. Perhaps the best scenes are the fallout from all this, when we find that it was Tywin who orchestrated the whole thing but will take none of the blame because people will remember it was the Frey’s that committed such a terrible crime. Even Roose Bolton, who personally stabbed Robb to death, is disgusted with Walder Frey. The whole plot was truly brilliant. The scene was as well.

1. Jaime and Brienne take a bath – Perhaps the best piece of acting in season three and one that should at least get NCW a best supporting actor nomination, we finally find out what happened in the throne room 14 or so years ago. We finally get to see the inside of Jaime Lannister, someone who has always deflected everything away from him with either wit, sarcasm or his sword. But we have started to see Jaime lose it, piece by piece, and finally, his secret and his burden he has lived with for so long finally come spilling out. Brienne just sits there with a shocked, un-judging look on her face as Jaime recounts the story of choosing between his oath to a king and his oath to his people. Jaime has been dropping us hints the entire time, by the way, of his burden. He tries to tell Eddard he saw his father and brother burn, he tries to justify how he has only loved one woman and never had an affair, and then there is this quote:

What would you do if you were him? What vow would you forsake? He chose and he has been haunted by it ever since. That scene also served as the death of “The Kingslayer” and the re-birth of Jaime Lannister!

What are your favorite scenes of this past season?

8 Fictional Girls You Were Supposed To Like But Who Actually Suck!

Most movies are about a guy who is love with a girl, but some movies do a truly terrible job making the girls that the guy loves seem at all appealing. Here are some girls we’re supposed to love who are actually terrible:

1. Kelly Kapowski in “Saved by the Bell,” Played by Tiffani Amber Thiessen

Zack Morris’ love for Kelly Kapowski was one of the driving forces of the entire series, and it never made any goddamn sense. Her character is a prime example of someone we were just supposed to be on board with loving for many years entirely because she was pretty. Prettiness can maybe buy you a year of believable infatuation, but beyond that, you really need some kind of personality. And Kelly didn’t have one of those. She was just a generic popular girl who never even laughed at Zack’s antics. Jessie Spano, on the other hand, now there’s a girl to get excited about.


2. Jenny in “Forrest Gump,” Played by Robin Wright

Jenny is supposed to be a fickle, uneven character that embodies the social change happening in Forrest’s lifetime. Ok. But that doesn’t mean she’s forgiven for always stringing him along and ditching him, then keeping his child a secret until she’s dying. That’s not the kind of girl you want your main character to end up with. Also, you know, that whole bit about the questionable ethics of making sexual advances towards a mentally impaired man. We can all agree that that’s pretty messed up, right?


3. Rita in “Groundhog Day,” Played by Andie MacDowell

Billy Murray spends lifetimes reliving the same day in this movie, and, by the end he’s learned compassion and the ability to appreciate life and those around him. That’s all very good, but, this otherwise perfect movie has one big flaw: Andie MacDowell. The pursuit of Andie MacDowell becomes the focus around which Bill Murray improves himself, which makes it really annoying that her character sucks so much. Her personality is gratingly ernest and dull—she always toasts to “world peace,” ugh—and she’s completely won over by cheesy bullshit, like ordering the same gross cocktail and that whole thing with the ice sculpture of her face, which any normal person would find creepy. There’s no way a man who has experienced near infinite days would be satisfied by someone so bland. Then again, there’s probably no way he could possibly live a satisfying life once the passage of time started up again. This kind of thing will really fuck you up.


4. Ramona Flowers in “Scott Pilgrim,” Played in the movie by Mary Elizabeth Winstead

Every socially awkward guy in the world fucking loves her and every “unique” girl wants to be her. They should stop. Not only is Ramona Flowers not a loveable character; she’s not even a good character. Granted, this world is supposed to be full of flawed, aimless twenty-somethings, but her dysfunction is entirely defined by inconsequential quirkiness like dying her hair and rollerskating, but doesn’t actually have any depth to warrant her flakiness, irresponsibility, and that whole part about forcing a guy she doesn’t even seem that interested in to battle all of her exes. That’s a completely dick move, and Scott Pilgrim is a real wiener for going along with it.
Kim Pine 4 Life.


5. Allison Scott in “Knocked Up,” Played by Katherine Heigl

Katherine Heigl is the Andie MacDowell of the 21st century. We’re supposed to be happy for Seth Rogen’s character at the end of the movie because he has this lovely little family and a newfound life purpose. But we can’t be happy because fucking Katherine Heigl is the worst. This is actually a situation where the character probably wouldn’t be so bad in another actress’ hands, but she takes ambition and a no-nonsense attitude and turns it into nagging, fun-killing, don’t-do-drugs-with-Paul-Rudd awfulness. I’m sure that Judd Apatow would agree with me when I say that, if time travel were invented, but the catch was that it could only be used for one purpose in the entire universe, it should be used to recast movies that stupidly cast charmless insufferable actors like Katherine Heigl.


6. Amanda Beckett in “Can’t Hardly Wait,” Played by Jennifer Love Hewitt

You might argue that this entire movie is incredibly stupid, and therefore, there’s no point in nitpicking the details. Well, you’re only half right. The movie IS majorly idiotic, but it also has a ton of funny characters and enjoyable plot lines, so it’s worth highlighting the fact that the main plot line, our protagonist’s life-long pursuit of this “amazing” girl, is complete shit because the object of his desire is a total blando. It’s not even possible to criticize her character on a more detailed scale because there is just nothing to her. Half of her screen time is her sulking on a couch. When the movie came out, the producers must have thought that Jennifer Love Hewitt was enough of a star that there didn’t need to be an qualifying characteristics necessary for the audience to love her as much as Ethan Embry did. But that Jennifer-Love-Hewitt-fan-club ship has sailed. If you watch this movie again, just fast-forward to the parts with Seth Green and Claire, from Six Feet Under.


7. Brandi (gag) in “Mallrats,” Played by Claire Forlani

You know you’re a shitty character when Shannen Doherty seems more appealing than you do. In fairness to Claire Forlani, Kevin Smith always writes terrible female characters, so it’s not all her fault, but that bad cover-up of a British accent sure didn’t help her seem like a less whiney, obnoxious, unloving jerk. She breaks up with a her boyfriend because he’s upset that she canceled the trip where he was planning to propose, in order to let her dad set her up with other guys. Also, her dad is way too much of a dick to think about marrying into that family. The next Thanksgiving after the events of this movie must have been a shitshow.


8. Carrie in “Four Weddings and a Funeral,” Played by Andie Fucking MacDowell

Rule 1: don’t fall in love with any woman who cheats on her fiancé with you.
Rule 2: don’t put Andie MacDowell in movies.