Futile Fantasy Football is BACK! Week 1!

FUTILE FANTASY IS BACK!! GET IN THE GAME!! Here are the rules and the player pools you can select from:

Here are the rules again for a quick reminder: remember, you are trying to pick THE WORST team points wise, so cheer for futility.

Who ever has THE LOWEST score wins. So really, we are playing golf. So pick a four pack of bums and get in the game! Here are the rules for a quick refresher.

-Each team will be comprised of one QB, RB, WR and TE. The game is meant to be simple. Pick one of each.

-Each player picked for each position must be a STARTER and must be PLAYING that week. (For instance, you may not pick Matt Cassel because he is not starting (yet), but you may pick Russel Wilson.)

-Your RB slot has to be filled with the first string (and starting) RB from a team. You may not use full backs or H backs.

-Scoring is standard scoring. All touchdowns count as 6 points (including passing TD’s). 25 throwing yards equals 1 point. 10 yards rushing and receiving equals 1 point. -2 for fumbles and INT’s.

-No decimal point scoring.

-No Monday night players. The reason for this is we will be able to get some instant gratification Sunday night. I will post the winners then.

SELECT ONE PLAYER FROM EACH POSITION BELOW!

QB – Jay Cutler, Josh Freeman, Andy Dalton, Michael Vick, Andrew Luck, Matt Schaub, Russel Wilson or Eli Manning.

RB – Adrian Peterson, Jamaal Charles, Demarco Murray, Daren McFadden, Benjarvis Green-Ellis, Reggie Bush, CJ  Spiller, Stephen Jackson, Doug Martin, Trent Richardson.

WR – Andre Johnson, Lance Moore, Calvin Johnson, Desean Jackson, Dwayne Bowe, Mike Wallace, Victor Cruz, AJ Green, Pierre Garcon, Reggie Wayne, James Jones, Steve Smith (Carolina) or Brandon Marshall

TE – Kyle Rudolph, Jermichael Finley, Jason Wittin, Owen Daniels, Brent Celek, or Jared Cook.

 

Select one from each pool and leave your team in the comments below! Good luck.

Futile Fantasy Football Week 10!

Sorry about not playing last week. That was forced due to limited internet access. In the hopes of making this week simple and easy, I am going to provide you with the available options. The pool of players will be limited and thus force you to make a harder pick than slotting in Christian Ponder. So, it will be more like our thanksgiving day games. Without delay, here are the players you can choose from. Please choose one from each position:

QB – Jay Cutler, Josh Freeman, Andy Dalton, Ben Roethlisberger, Andrew Luck, Matt Schaub or Eli Manning.

RB – Shonn Greene, Jamaal Charles, Demarco Murray, Daren McFadden, Benjarvis Green-Ellis, Reggie Bush, CJ  Spiller, Stephen Jackson, Doug Martin, Trent Richardson.

WR – Andre Johnson, Lance Moore, Denarious Moore, Mike Wallace, Victor Cruz, AJ Green, Pierre Garcon, Reggie Wayne, James Jones, Steve Smith (Carolina) or Brandon Marshall

TE – Kyle Rudolph, Jermichael Finley, Jason Wittin, Owen Daniels, Brent Celek, Aaron Hernandez, or Anthony Fasano.

Here are the rules again for a quick reminder: remember, you are trying to pick THE WORST team points wise, so cheer for futility.

Who ever has THE LOWEST score wins. So really, we are playing golf. So pick a four pack of bums and get in the game! Here are the rules for a quick refresher.

-Each team will be comprised of one QB, RB, WR and TE. The game is meant to be simple. Pick one of each.

-Each player picked for each position must be a STARTER and must be PLAYING that week. (For instance, you may not pick Matt Cassel because he is hurt, but you may pick Brady Quinn.)

-Your RB slot has to be filled with the first string (and starting) RB from a team. You may not use full backs or H backs.

-Each NFL team in real life has two WR’s that start. You may pick either of them as long as they are playing that week. So, you may pick either Desean Jackson or Jeremy Maclin on the Eagles as your WR if you wanted.

-Use the official team Depth Chart to determine starting status. Other team owners may challenge a pick.

-Scoring is standard scoring. All touchdowns count as 6 points (including passing TD’s). 25 throwing yards equals 1 point. 10 yards rushing and receiving equals 1 point. -2 for fumbles and INT’s.

-No decimal point scoring.

-No Monday night players. The reason for this is we will be able to get some instant gratification Sunday night. I will post the winners then.

As always, here is my team: QB – Andy Dalton, RB – Steven Jackson, WR – Denarious Moore, TE – Kyle Rudolph

Leave your team down in the comments and check back Sunday night for the results of our game!

5 Reasons We Play Fantasy Sports!

I have been playing fantasy sports now for a long time. Perhaps too long. Or perhaps not long enough. I remember back when I first started, people like Issac Bruce and Deuce McCallister were legitimate players. There was this kid in Minnesota who could out jump everyone and he scored a lot of touchdowns. Some dude got drafted to the Chargers and had a really long, weird name so people just called him LT. And of course, people scrambled to pick up Tommy Maddox and Kurt Warner after Slash and Trent Green got hurt. We played for bragging rights back then, and maybe like a $10 buy in.

But, like the NFL itself, the game has changed drastically. In my keeper league, which is in it’s ninth season, people have played their entire careers while we fielded them in our league. Chad Johnson, Jamaal Lewis, and Joey Harrington are all among those players. Dante Culpepper, Deuce McCallister, and Marvin Harrison were all first round picks when we started. And that was the day, sitting in my friends gazebo with pencil and paper for our draft, that I started the longest stretch of futility ever. I had only made the play offs one season and I was bounced right away. But that didn’t matter. There was something more with that league. Something that, even though my team stunk bad, kept me involved and coming back.

Things like our live drafts we used to do. Back in 2007, we had our draft. But before that, my friend Stu and I took our then girlfriends to a water park. We told them that day that we had to be back for a draft. When the time came, we packed it up and headed back, much to the dismay of those two girls. God, they were so upset. But at the time, we were focused on one thing, that draft. That draft changed the fortunes of Stu’s team as he drafted Calvin Johnson and still haunts me, as I missed Adrian Peterson by one pick. In a league where you can keep talent from year to year, that hurt.

I was one pick away from this stud back in 2007!

Alas, this year, something has changed. I have finally had a stroke of luck and I am playing for the championship. This is my first time even advancing in the playoffs, much less making it to the final game. And, who of course am I playing, but the person that drafted Adrian Peterson right in front of me. It got me thinking why, this group of dudes, and people in general, play these “sports” in general. What makes these games so damn fun? Here is a quick list I came up with:

5. Gambling (money) – Fantasy sports are basically gambling. It is no more of a sure thing as roulette or bingo and you can’t really be any better at than a person could be at poker. Sure, you can play match ups and look and home/away splits, but when it comes down to it, sometimes Dennis Pitta will catch 2 TD’s to beat you. Nick Punto, in any game, could hit 2 doubles. Hell, Tim Duncan hits a three pointer every now and then…All you can really do is make your best educated guess as to what is going to happen. And when it works, you get the same high you do from rolling an 11 in craps or hitting black jack at the table. When it fails, you throw things against the wall and make spreadsheets showing how badly you got screwed! However, the end goal is the same for a lot of leagues, make money. Fantasy Football allows you to do that in what people perceive to be a “safe” way of gambling. Fantasy football alone, is estimated to be worth about $800 million dollars as an industry.

4. Better knowledge of the sport – I have often said that the best way to learn a sport or a league is to play the fantasy counterpart. There is no easier way to learn the players in a league and what is good and bad in each game. I have personally ran two beginner leagues for fantasy sports. One was a football league this year. One was a baseball league last season in which almost no one played fantasy baseball before and most people in the league would consider themselves to be “minor” fans of the game. What took place was a blossoming of knowledge for both the fantasy world but also the real world. A girl that participated in the league developed a crush (as often times happens in fantasy sports) on one of her players, Matt Cain. As a collective group, we ended up going to more baseball games and even started playing the sport in wiffle form. Same went for football. There is nothing better than hearing a person who “hated” football before, start talking about how Cam Newton is bum and he would much rather have Drew Brees. Fantasy sports allows you to learn players on other teams and makes all games worth while. The Jets and Titans game yesterday was awful, but people watched it because they had Chris Johnson playing or, like me, started Tennessee’s defense against Mark Sanchez (thanks for those 5 turnovers buddy) and that game decided who would be playing in people’s championships this week. Learning about the league and it’s players is super easy when play fantasy sports.

3. Smack talk – There is nothing more satisfying that being able to beat someone with your fake roster of people sometimes. Some people are the type that will shout it from the rooftops and gloat. Some people post all over message boards laden with profanity. Some people keep a quiet calm and just sit and smile as the person they beat take it out on a wall. (Check here for more types of people in Fantasy leagues) No matter your form of smack talk, there is that element in fantasy sports that you just simply cannot replicate in other gambling games. The reason is the head to head combat that you do in the league. When playing black jack, I am just playing for myself. But when I am playing fantasy football, there are repercussions for my wins and losses for everyone else in the league. And there is usually no better feeling that beating someone heads up when you know you are going to see them the next day…

2. Championship – Winning it all. This is a feeling I have not known since 2005 in any league. I have had a number of second and third place finishes, but out of 69 teams managed in my life time, I have only won an entire league once. Eight second place finishes barely take the hurt out of losing. I feel sort of like the Buffalo Bills of the early 1990’s when they lost four Superbowls in a row. But this year, I have a chance to win 2 leagues. It is a feeling that I have not gotten from playing other fake games, a feeling of accomplishment. I feeling of not being lucky…at least not in the same way as getting a 21 dealt to you. Sure, am I lucky that I started Jeremy Maclin that one game he did something? Sure. Am I lucky I got to face Doug Martin twice last week when he laid a complete egg? Of course. But this game makes you think that you have something to do with the outcome. That your coaching prowess helped you navigate the waters of uncertainty better than your opponent. And that, leads to a sense of satisfaction. And earning the championship proving you were the best in the league for a year, if only for one year, is something worth striving for. Like Herm Edwards says, “YOU PLAY TO WIN THE GAME!!”

1. Friendship – I have been in a league now for a long time. It is the league that I refer to as my keeper league. And although that league has changed in a number of ways, the people in it haven’t changed for a long time. Despite not one person living where we were when we started, and not one person doing the same thing, we have all stuck with this one thing. This league has been around longer than some of the men’s wives that they now have. It has preceded the kids some of them have. A lot can change and happen over nine or so years, but for all the inconsistency in our lives, the one thing that has always been there is our league. For around 18 weeks out of the year, we all start talking again. We catch up on each others lives and start the smack talk all over again. It is, of course, all in love. Having fantasy football, something that is so nerdy and certainly a little lame, has actually kept this group of 10 guys close when all other things interfere. I will wrap up this article with a great quote from a fantasy football analyst on Yahoo!:

“I also think it’s worth examining and re-evaluating why we play these games in the first place. I try to appreciate football on a weekly basis no matter how the results relate to my teams, rosters, picks and projections. And the community of fantasy football, on a macro and micro level, is a beautiful thing. We make friends in this game, we build relationships, we leave footprints. I hope I never get too far removed from that fact and perspective, and I wish the same to you.”  -Scott Pianowski

Why do you play fantasy sports?! Talk about it in the comments below!

Futile Fantasy Football Results for Week 9!

New comer Ryan Wing wins this week barely edging me out! Despite picking Reshard Mendenhall, who I subbed for Jonathan Dwyer, Ryan still ended up beating me! And I started Ponder and Fitzgerald! BAH!

Ryan Wing – 8

Jeff – 13

Sam Mark – 29

DUD – 29 (That is with Calvin instead of Burelson)

Ish – 66

Get ready to know who this guy is NFL…

 

Futile Fantasy Football Week 9!

“Thank god Mark Sanchez is still starting…people will keep talking about him…” -CP

We are back for the 9th week in a row! Last week, Sam Mark picked a squad that put up a Zero! This week, Mark Sanchez is NOT available to pick. Sorry dudes, but this is starting to get harder and harder. Good luck this week!

PLEASE MAKE SURE TO CHECK THE AVAILABLE PLAYERS THIS WEEK! I have started to take out players to make it much more difficult. If there not a player in a space (for instance, Jets QB is currently blank), that means no one from that team can be picked. Some teams also have only one WR to choose from now. So make sure you look. If you choose an illegal player, you will get an automatic 15 points…and that will about seal your loss. Here is the list of players: WORST FOOTBALL TEAM WEEK 9

*Nick Foles is the Eagles QB, not Mike Vick.

*James Starks is not playing. There will be NO RB OPTION FOR GREEN BAY this week.

*Cecil Shorts is also OUT for the Jaguars. He is not available to pick.

Here is a real quick breakdown of the rules: remember, you are trying to pick THE WORST team points wise, so cheer for futility.

Who ever has THE LOWEST score wins. So really, we are playing golf. So pick a four pack of bums and get in the game! Here are the rules for a quick refresher.

-Each team will be comprised of one QB, RB, WR and TE. The game is meant to be simple. Pick one of each.

-Each player picked for each position must be a STARTER and must be PLAYING that week. (For instance, you may not pick Matt Cassel because he is hurt, but you may pick Brady Quinn.)

-Your RB slot has to be filled with the first string (and starting) RB from a team. You may not use full backs or H backs.

-Each NFL team in real life has two WR’s that start. You may pick either of them as long as they are playing that week. So, you may pick either Desean Jackson or Jeremy Maclin on the Eagles as your WR if you wanted.

-Use the official team Depth Chart to determine starting status. Other team owners may challenge a pick.

-Scoring is standard scoring. All touchdowns count as 6 points (including passing TD’s). 25 throwing yards equals 1 point. 10 yards rushing and receiving equals 1 point. -2 for fumbles and INT’s.

-No decimal point scoring.

-No Monday night players. The reason for this is we will be able to get some instant gratification Sunday night. I will post the winners then.

Is this the most unlucky person in the NFL or what?!

Here is the available players you can choose from one more time: WORST FOOTBALL TEAM WEEK 9

So, here is my team: QB – Christian Ponder, RB – Reggie Bush, WR – Larry Fitzgerald, TE – Kellen Davis

Leave your team down in the comments and check back Sunday night for the results! Good luck losers.

Futile Fantasy Football Week 8 Results!

Finally put out of his misery…like a dying horse.

Sorry for the results being released late, but I had to confirm that we have our first ever ZERO point team. Congrats to Sam Mark, who actually picked players that scored SOME points, but also picked Mark Sanchez (who will never be offered in this game again) who scored negative points! Well done Sam! You have just beaten your own record of 4 points. Here are the rest of the results:

Sam Mark – 0

(Mark Sanchez, Larod Stephens Howling, Randy Moss, Zach Miller)

Justin Anderson – 15

Adam Boucher – 23

Mike Heyer – 23

Brandon – 39

Ryan Wing – 41

Brian Ish – 44

Jeffrey Leinenkugel – 45

 

Come back next week as we do it all over again!