Chris Kluwe Expected to be Cut by Minnesota Vikings!

We have covered a lot of what Chris Kluwe has done on this site. You can find some of his funny articles here and here and here. He also happens to play for the Vikings, who happen to be this writers favorite team. But news has come out that the Vikings are ready to cut ties with the punter. The Vikings are citing that Kluwe’s age, salary and Jeff Locke’s (Vikings drafted a new punter in this years draft) talent all are factors in Kluwe’s release.

Of course, some people are wondering if that Kluwe’s off field interests and antics are the real reason the Vikings are letting him go. I personally hope that it is not. Kluwe is quick to point out that he has been an above average punter in this league for years now. But the Vikings seem to want to have a “quiet” punter. I think this is unfortunate in a lot of ways. One, it just sort of stereotypes the NFL even more as the “not fun league” and also makes it hard for players in this league to share opinions and ideas and even just enjoy their life. The NFL is not and should never be considered equals to the military or anything like that. It is a game, a sport. I suppose Kluwe has some great lines about this when he says that he has no regrets being who he is;

“I think the sacrifice would be worth it,” Kluwe told Chip Scoggins of the Star Tribune. “Now, I would hope that I would get the chance to play football again, because I think I can still play. But if it ends up being something that costs me that position, I think making people aware of an issue that is causing children to commit suicide is more important than kicking a leather ball.”

Kluwe particularly has been vocal in his support for same sex-marriage rights. He is coming out with a book this summer and believes it’s silly that he’s been admonished publicly, sometimes by coaches, for having other interests.

“When I’m at the facility, I’m concentrating 100 percent on my job because that’s what I’m being paid to do,” Kluwe said. “But when I’m away from the facility, I’m no longer at my job. I get to live my life. This idea that you have to spend 24 hours a day thinking about your job frankly is unhealthy. It’s insane.”

I agree 100%. I do not think the Vikings “botched” this whole situation…I am saying they missed an opportunity to become something more than just an NFL football team. They could have stood by and supported one of their own and that persons issues. Instead, they did what every NFL team does…cut the player and move on. Is it better for football operations? Maybe. Is it right? I suppose that is up to you.

I think Kluwe will end up punting some place else rather quickly. Teams hire felons who kill people and dogs and get DUI’s and beat women…I am sure a team can handle someone who likes playing World of Warcraft…



Elvis Presley Sings About The 2012 Minnesota Vikings!

I try to stay somewhat balanced about the NFL. But, if you haven’t figured it out, the Minnesota Vikings are my favorite team. That still didn’t stop me from saying they weren’t all that good after week 4 of the season. And then again after they stumbled in the middle of the year. But they have come on super strong now and, while most people say they don’t deserve a playoff birth, they did anything but back into the dance. They smoked 3 teams in a row before facing their division rivals the Packers this past Sunday. That game was ended up being the single best NFL game of the year, with the Vikings winning on a last second field goal by rookie kicker Blair Walsh.

The Vikings have earned a shot at the Packers in Lambeau field this Saturday night.

So, what is with Elvis? I think Elvis does such a wonderful job singing about things he loves…and Elvis was a huge football fan. He regularly played pick up games when he could, and was a huge fan of the Cleveland Browns. So why not sing about football? I suppose that even if you aren’t a football fan, you can still enjoy these classic Elvis songs! Enjoy!

The Promised Land – A cover of a Chuck Berry Song, this frantic sounding song is all about trying to get somewhere…in this case, I imagine it is about the young Vikings squad trying to reach the Super Bowl. Can they do it? Probably not. But I have been doubting them for a good long time now and maybe it is time I start to believe in them…

Suspicious Minds – Ugh, I am caught in a trap with this team. I love them but I also hate them and I hate loving them. But, as anyone who has ever loved anyone, you just have to do it. You can’t just change things. So, here we go again…the Vikings have my hopes up again like they did in 2009. And back then I wasn’t suspicious of them at all. This year, a little different. The defense is far too young. The Quarterback is far too inconsistent  We have no WR’s at all. And Adrian Peterson can’t possibly run through 9 and 10 man fronts in the playoffs…But, this team still has me caught in it’s trap and I cannot walk out.

It’s Now Or Never – Ok, so maybe for this team as a whole the window won’t close this year. But this is probably their best chance. A fairly healthy team (minus Percy Harvin), they have a ton of momentum and are playing with house money. They have been playing elimination games for 4 weeks. No one is taking them seriously. Jared Allen, Chad Greenway, and Adrian Peterson are getting no younger. Perhaps now is the best time to make a good run…because like so many other teams that thought they would stay at the top (Cardinals, Steelers, etc.) it needs to happen now or it might never happen ever.

Can’t Help Falling In Love – Well, like the song says, “Wise men say only fools rush in”. Maybe that is why it took me a long time to personally buy my favorite team having a chance. But as the season progressed, I couldn’t help falling in love with this team. The rookies (Kahlil and Harrison Smith) are keepers. Jerome Felton might be the best blocker in the NFL. Even Ponder is starting to figure it out. And then of course, the whole nation just couldn’t help falling in love with Adrian Peterson. Never has a Vikings player warrented so much respect from other fans. I have gone on record saying Randy Moss is one of my favorite players ever, but other people hated him. They respected his talent, but hated him. No one hates Adrian Peterson. Most everyone was actually cheering for him to break Eric Dickerson’s record. Although he fell 9 yards short, everyone still fell in love with him.

Too Much – Yup, I love this team too much. I need to stop, I know. But it wont happen. And now they got me started and I hope they do not leave me broken heart’ed.

A Little Less Conversation – Well, I think it is time to just get down to it! Screw the talking heads, screw the ‘experts’ at and ESPN, and let us get inbetween the tackles and start playing! First game (and possibly last game) is Saturday night against the Green Bay Packers at Lambeau Field. Come Sunday, you might find me crying in the chapel, otherwise, I will be attending a different type of church:



Do It For Frodo!


Keep Will Ferrell, I’ll take Aragorn and the Fellowship any damn day…


Ok, so maybe I am a little bias. I am a Minnesota Vikings fan, but that doesn’t in any way change what Adrian Peterson has done this year on the football field. Are there really any other contenders? Some would say Manning or Brady who are leading their teams to a bunch of wins…but those teams also did fine with Tim Tebow and Matt Cassel.

The Minnesota Vikings have 8 wins this season. They had three last year. I think Vegas said they would win 5 this year. They are currently sitting in the 6th seed of the NFC playoffs. How many games do they win WITHOUT Adrian Peterson? Probably 3? If that? So, if the MVP award is for someone who is the Most Valuable, and Adrian Peterson accounts for (so far) 5 wins, who the hell is more valuable then him? Honestly, who else in the NFL could account for 3 wins even? Ponder (no pun intended) that while you read these 13 amazing facts about this years MV(A)P from

Through 14 games this season, Peterson has:

  1. More rushing yards (1,313) from Week 7 through Week 15 than Vikings quarterback Christian Ponder has passing yards (1,093).
  2. Nine games with at least 100 yards, most of any player in the league.
  3. Six games with at least 150 rushing yards, or as many as the next three-closest players combined. Bryce Brown, Jamaal Charles and Arian Foster all have two. Only Earl Campbell (seven) has more games with 150-plus rushing yards in the Super Bowl era.
  4. A higher yards-per-rush average (6.3) than Ponder, John Skelton and Nick Foles have in yards-per-pass attempt averages.
  5. A total of 909 yards after contact. That would tie Steven Jackson for 13th in the NFL as a stand-alone rushing total. Peterson already has the most in the past three seasons (since data is available), with the previous high Maurice Jones-Drew in 2011 (785 yards after contact).
  6. A 3.1 average on yards after contact per rush. That’s higher than Rashad Jennings’ yards-per-rush average (2.8), and is the highest by any player in a season since 2009, the year that data became available.
  7. A total of 1,103 rushing yards on first down, which would currently rank No. 9 as a stand-alone rushing total.
  8. Two 82-yard rushing touchdowns. He is the third player in NFL history with multiple rushing touchdowns of more than 80 yards in a season (Johnson in 2009 and Hugh McElhenny in 1952).
  9. Gained a first down when hit before the marker 39 times, most of any player in the league. Only 18 other players even have 39 total first downs.
  10. A total of 20 rushes of at least 20 yards, or as many as the two next-closest players combined. C.J. Spiller has 11 and Doug Martin has nine.
  11. Seven rushes of at least 50 yards, as many as Charles (two), Johnson (two), Martin (two) and Spiller (one) combined.
  12. A total of 582 rushing yards with at least eight defenders in the box, more than twice as many as the next-closest rusher (Frank Gore, 279).
  13. Been hit in the backfield 51 times but has gained 69 yards on those plays. The rest of the NFL has collectively lost 1,191 yards when hit in the backfield.

NFC Teams and Their Female Counterparts!

The Top 5 is bringing you 5 NFC teams and their female counterparts! There is a sister article to this that you will find over on The Daily Upperdecker that will break down 5 AFC teams and their female counterparts!

Here are the 5 NFC teams and their female counterpart:

Seattle Seahawks – Kristen Stewart – You hate them so much but they are actually good. No one wants to admit it, but both Stewart and the Seahawks are hot as hell right now. Kristen Stewart makes a TON of money for her movies because people seem to actually like her and the characters she plays. Sure, she can be annoying, just like Pete Carroll. And sure, maybe she uses drugs, but so does Richard Sherman. Maybe she doesn’t have much of a personality, but neither does the Seahawks team. But you know what? They both get it done in their professions. The Seahawks are on the inside track to the playoffs, and Kristen Stewart is the highest paid female actress according to Forbes. Oh yea, and they both cheat!

Atlanta Falcons – Jennifer Aniston – They are sexy, but are they really even that good? Part of us hopes they find happiness, but right when we think they have a shot, they get dumped in a public and humiliating way. At first, they were dating Mike Vick. But we all know he killed dogs, went to jail and now is playing for a different team…even though ‘playing’ is a loose term. And then they got Matt Ryan. Pretty boy who was going to lead them to the promise land. And so far, every time they get close, they seem to clam up and fail. But now, look how hot this team is! They have only lost 2 games! But are they really that good? Sure, Friends was an ok show for some people. But after that, is Jennifer Aniston really worth anything? I mean we love Jen, but is she ever going to find happiness? I have a feeling Jen and the Falcons both will just be humiliated again and again in the public spotlight. Perhaps what both the Falcons and Aniston needs is a nice boy from the midwest…

Washington Redskins – Jenna Fischer – They are good looking, maybe even sneaky hot, but they just aren’t ready for the big time. Sure, the Redskins have a ton going for them. Solid rookies. Everyone knows RGIII but it might just be Alfred Morris who has done the most for them. And they have a decent defense that can sometimes make plays that keep games close. But when it comes down to it, are you really taking Jenna Fischer over Charlize Theron, Olivia Wilde or other bombshells? Chances are, if the Redskins play the Giants again, not many people are taking the Redskins.

Jenna Fischer Picture

Minnesota Vikings – Rhianna – Does she have some talent? Sure. Is it all in one area? Yes. The Vikings are the same way. They have an award winning Running back but nothing else. And just like when music star Rhianna tried to cross over into acting (Battleship), she failed miserably. Whenever the Vikings get away from what they do best (run) by trying to cross over and do something else (pass) it usually hurts more than getting punched in the face by Chris Brown. The only real difference between the Vikes and Rhianna is that Rhianna can be really successful being one dimensional. Watch Rhianna “live and breath in [her] mind…”

Chicago Bears – Courtney Love – Totally beat up from the feet up, both of these teams started with talent, over preformed, garnered praise, and then fell faster from grace than Scarlet taking a tumble.

Perhaps neither of these people had talent at all and used other people around them to appear to have talent (like the Rams, Cowboys, Jaguars, Panthers and Titans…or Kurt Cobain). Then we all anoint them as the next great thing until we realize that they are terrible. And then, to show us, they come out looking worse and worse. Basically, the Bare turning into the dumpster fire of the NFL…and that is in a conference with the Cowboys and Lions!

Have any other comparisons? Leave them down in the comments!

Top 5 Athletes I Will Love Unconditionally!

Lance Armstrong recently admitted to doping. Basically, he cheated at his sport after years of saying he was clean. Now, to some people that is not a big deal. But to others, people that funded his charity and bought his book and were inspired by him, they feel hurt and betrayed. Lance lost a lot of love after admitting he cheated. Same goes for other athletes like Alex Rodriguez and Rafeal Palmero.

Then there are players who have troubles outside of the sport itself. Kobe Bryant raped a woman. Ben Roethlisberger raped two women. Michael Vick killed dogs. Ray Lewis pretty much killed a human being.

However, we are a nation that tends to forgive and  forget things quite quickly. Winning tends to cure all that personal heart break. In fact, I think if you win sports games, your fan base will forgive you regardless of what you do. Is that an awesome thing or a super sad thing?

Anyway, here are five athletes that I will always love, despite their troubles in life on or off the field:

5. Joe Nathan – Listen, this guy isn’t really terrible and he hasn’t done anything ever to betray my love. But this guy was really good. And I loved watching him play. I still do. This guy was so good that he was simply taken for granted. A converted short-stop (Joe Nathan never really cared to pitch. He was quoted once saying that he could still hit .240 in this league…which gives you some insight into how funny he is), the Twins got him in a deal for AJ Pierzinsky. They quickly realized this dude could throw hard. When Everyday Eddie left, Nathan stepped into the closers role. All he did was become the Twins all time saves leader with 255, become a five time all star, and win the best reliever award in 2009. Nathan also has 298 career saves. I couldn’t be happier for Joe, wherever he chooses to play from here on out. I will always cheer for him to succeed.

4. Brett Favre – I do not think anyone broke my heart more than Brett Favre. When he was a Packer, he killed the Vikings. When he was a Viking, he killed the Vikings. But you know what? Football, the NFL in particular, needs someone like Brett Favre. They need a joking redneck who doesn’t take the game to seriously. Everyone in the league now sees it as a business and a way to get rich. I do not see players taking joy in just playing anymore. And that was something you could never say about Brett Favre. Of course Brett had his own off the field issues. He was addicted to pain killers, had an affair, and of course his whole off season fiasco near the end of his career. But now that he is no longer in the NFL, it is a little strange. For the better part of my adult life, this man played football games. Although I hated him for the majority of his career, I cannot help but think the NFL is missing something without him out there.

3. Michael Jordon – The best basketball player that ever lived. Yea, I said it. You can give me Wilt or Magic or Bird or Kobe, but MJ was the best that ever lived. Of course, he was not without issues. This guy was a gambler. I would wager (see what I did there?) that he still is. This guy would gamble on anything and everything. High cut for a Benjamin? Done. Flip a coin for a grand? Sure. Make free throws with my eyes closed during a game? Why not? This guy gambled himself right out of the league… allegedly. Remember those two years MJ decided to go play baseball? I am sure you remember…if you don’t, just watch the beginning of Space Jam again. He is playing baseball. It is a plot point. That really happened in real life. Anyway, supposedly he was suspended for two years for gambling on games and he used baseball to cover it up. Now, the fact that the NBA is shady enough already, compare this to baseball: Pete Rose is banned for life for essentially the same offense. The NBA needed Jordan though, Jordan WAS the NBA. So, two years and a triumphant return later, they get back their superstar and I get to go on loving Michael like nothing happened. Even though Mike’s team stinks now, I will still always love him. Oh, also, he was in Space Jam.

2. Kirby Puckett – Little Kirby Puckett. This dude racked up stats and all star games like a 14 year old racks up kills in Grand Theft Auto 3. All he did was hit and field and win his way into the Hall of Fame on his first ballot. He won 2 world series, one of which, the 1991 series against the Braves, is considered the best World Series of all time. He was a batting champ in 1989, 6 time gold glove winner, Roberto Clemente award winner, and has since had his number retired by my favorite team, The Minnesota Twins. Puckett was perhaps the face of Minnesota at that time. However, that started to change.  In March 2002, a woman filed an order for protection against Puckett’s wife Tonya, alleging that Tonya had threatened to kill her over an alleged affair with Puckett. That month, another woman asked for protection from Puckett, saying in court documents that she had had an 18-year relationship with him and that he had shoved her in his Bloomington condominium. In September 2002, Puckett was charged with false imprisonment, fifth-degree criminal sexual conduct, and fifth-degree assault after being accused of groping a woman in a restaurant bathroom. Puckett became secluded at that point, moving to Scottsdale, Arizona where he passed away three years later. Kirby Puckett is a fascinating case of “can a sports star who captures your attention on the field get a pass for personal transgressions?” That is a personal answer everyone must face and answer on their own. It is something that cannot be a blanket statement either. To me, I will always love Kirby, despite is clearly troubled life off the field.

1. Randy Moss – I talked about Randy Moss already as one of my favorite players ever. You can find that  article here. Randy Moss might have changed the NFL and the style of play in the NFL more than any other single player in the past 20 years. Teams realized that not only can they win games with big play, high powered offenses (something that really didn’t exist in the ball control, feature running back dominated league prior to 1998), but they can make a ton of money because that is what people wanted to see. Randy Moss is the only link between the two most dominant offensive teams EVER. Seven Pro Bowls, an NFC player of the Year, and so many awards that the difference between him and Jerry Rice for best receiver ever is not as far fetched as you might think.

  • Most touchdown receptions in a season – 23 (2007)
  • Most touchdown receptions by a rookie in a season – 17 (1998)
  • Most seasons with 17 or more touchdown receptions – 3 (1998, 2003, 2007)
  • Most seasons with 16 or more touchdown receptions – 3 (1998, 2003, 2007)
  • Most seasons with 11 or more touchdown receptions – 8 – tied with Jerry Rice
  • Most seasons with 10 or more touchdown receptions – 9 – tied with Jerry Rice
  • Most games in a season with at least 2 touchdown receptions – 8 (2007)
  • One of two players to have 1,600+ receiving yards and 16+ receiving touchdowns in a season (2003), the other being Calvin Johnson (2011)
  • Most yards receiving in a Pro Bowl game – 212 (2000)
  • Most touchdowns scored in first 10 games with a new team – 16 (2007)
  • Most 1,200+ yard receiving seasons to start a career – 6 (1998, 1999, 2000, 2001, 2002, 2003)
  • Moss has averaged at least one receiving touchdown per game played in four different seasons: 1998 (17 TDs in 16 games), 2003 (17 in 16), 2004 (13 in 13), and 2007 (23 in 16)[84]
  • At the end of the 2008 season, Moss averaged 12.3 receiving TDs per season
  • Four 100+ yard games in his first four games with a new team in 2007
  • Youngest player in NFL history to record his 100th receiving touchdown – (29 years and 235 days)
  • Youngest player in NFL history to record his 120th receiving touchdown – (30 years, 313 days)
  • Fastest player to reach 5,000 career receiving yards – 59 games (broke record of 61 games by Jerry Rice)
  • Highest career yards per catch average for any player with 900+ receptions – 15.6 yards per reception
  • Youngest player to have 3 touchdown receptions in a game (21 years, 286 days; later broken by Rob Gronkowski)

Of course, those are just some of his records. But everyone knows that Randy Moss comes with a price…He had a bad attitude a lot of the time. He sprayed water on a ref, hit a dude with his car, paid in straight cash, and of course, Mooned the Lambeau Field crowd. That last one Joe Buck just could not stomach. Despite all that, I got to watch Randy Moss as a kid and there has never been anyone as good as him since. Perhaps the NFL has finally caught up to the big, athletic wide receivers  or perhaps Randy Moss was just that special. Either way, I will always love him.

Yes, Randy Moss was so damn good that Mike Tice kept his job for quite awhile.

Who are some of your sports heroes you will love unconditionally?

Here is a great video to go with Brett Favre as well: What should he do?!