5 Quotes From Star Wars That Are Total Lies!

Mos Eisley is a sorta scummy place, I guess – there are some rough characters there who would pull a blaster on you at the drop of a hat (not noble hero Han Solo though. No, he would only pull a blaster to defend himself). However, Obi-Wan telling Luke he would never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy was more than a little disingenuous, considering there’s a FAR more wretched hive of scum and villainy located ON THE SAME PLANET.

That’s right – Jabba’s palace, a hive that’s 20 times more wretched and scummy and villainous. There’s a fat slug guy who keeps a human being frozen in carbonite as a conversation piece, regularly abuses his slaves, and has no problem feeding his servants to the giant cave monster who lives in his basement. Also, his idea of a good time is throwing people into a toothy sphincter in the middle of the desert.

Compared to that, the Mos Eisley Spaceport is practically a neighborhood Applebee’s.


 

 

5 Quotes From Star Wars That Are Just Total Lies

Unless the most powerful thing Darth Vader can imagine is a partially-transparent advice-giving ghost, Obi-Wan’s kinda full of bullshit here. He actually becomes pretty much entirely powerless – he gives Luke some tips (as a voice in his head) and chats with Yoda a little. That’s not very powerful at all, especially considering he’s standing on a space station that literally blows up planets when he makes this claim. That alone is infinitely more powerful than what Obi-Wan becomes.

You know what Obi-Wan should have done with his ghost-powers? Mess with Vader CONSTANTLY. He’s now a ghost who can show up anywhere in the galaxy at will. Just annoy Vader for the rest of his life. Follow him around and scream at him, keep him up at night by yodeling, tell everyone in the Empire embarrassing secrets about Anakin’s past (“Ol’ Darth there’s childhood nickname was ‘Annie.’ Haha, no, I’m totes serious, you guys!”). You’re a GHOST. Why not actually make use of that ability?

Then again, maybe he thought hanging around in a newbie pilot’s head and chatting with a swamp Muppet was a better use of his ultimate power.


 

 

5 Quotes From Star Wars That Are Just Total Lies

YES, YES IT IS. Are you kidding, Yoda? Hell, you were even BEATEN in a big Dark vs. Light battle, which is why you’re living in a swamp by yourself tricking farmboys into giving you piggyback rides.

The Dark Side has FORCE-LIGHTNING. What does the Light Side have? Turning yourself into a helpless ghost? Lifting rocks? And if you wanna go extended universe on this (which is never a good idea), THE DARKSIDE CAN CAUSE FORCE-WORMHOLES THAT CAN RIP WORLDS APART. Meanwhile, the Light side has such kickass powers as “animal friendship” – which looks like this:

5 Quotes From Star Wars That Are Total Lies

Plus, the Light Side is full of lame-o Jedis who aren’t allowed to have girlfriends or show emotions ever. The point is, the Dark Side rules.


 

 

5 Quotes From Star Wars That Are Just Total Lies

Mark Hamill is 5’9″. Not too tall or anything, but definitely not short. Hell, Jango Fett (as played by Temuera Morrison) – who was the model for ALL Stormtroopers back in the clone days, was only 5’7″. By those standards, Luke is actually unusually tall for a Stormtrooper.

Also, maybe Leia shouldn’t be making such sassy remarks to the people who have a floating torture-robot they can use whenever they feel like it. Or, ya know, a space station that can blow up entire planets.


 

 

5 Quotes From Star Wars That Are Just Total Lies

Those were totally the droids they were looking for.

 

From Dorkly.com

Who Told This Guy to Come?!

do what i want 4 I do what I want (20 Photos)

Just Scouting Here…

Not-right-at-all-18

27 Reasons Why Luke Skywalker is the Worst!

From Louis Peitzman at Buzzfeed.com.

1. First off, it’s just not cool when you say it like that. Take a breath first.

27 Reasons Luke Skywalker Is The Absolute Worst

2. THAT HAIR. No one is taking you seriously.

27 Reasons Luke Skywalker Is The Absolute Worst

3. LOL, can you not?

27 Reasons Luke Skywalker Is The Absolute Worst

4. And what are you even wearing?! OK, we’re getting off track.

And what are you even wearing?! OK, we're getting off track.

5. So, he’s got MAJOR Daddy issues. It’s all he ever talks about!

27 Reasons Luke Skywalker Is The Absolute Worst

6. And when he finally finds him, he makes this RIDICULOUS face.

27 Reasons Luke Skywalker Is The Absolute Worst

7. Like, just take a moment. Horrible.

Like, just take a moment. Horrible.

8. He opts out of fighting. Yeah, OK, good luck with that.

27 Reasons Luke Skywalker Is The Absolute Worst

9. Maybe because he SUCKS at it. This floating ball kicks his ass.

27 Reasons Luke Skywalker Is The Absolute Worst

10. LOL KICK FAIL.

27 Reasons Luke Skywalker Is The Absolute Worst

11. And then when he does fight, it’s like, OOPS.

27 Reasons Luke Skywalker Is The Absolute Worst

12. He is ill-equipped to be handling weapons.

27 Reasons Luke Skywalker Is The Absolute Worst

13. Would YOU trust this guy with a lightsaber?

Would YOU trust this guy with a lightsaber?

14. That’s right. You just play with your toys.

27 Reasons Luke Skywalker Is The Absolute Worst

15. He TALKS a big game, but get real.

27 Reasons Luke Skywalker Is The Absolute Worst

16. I mean, he acts like he’s not scared to fight, and then — BIG GULP.

27 Reasons Luke Skywalker Is The Absolute Worst

17. Terrible time to pass out. Who does that?!

27 Reasons Luke Skywalker Is The Absolute Worst

18. Remember when he just let the Emperor do this for a while?

27 Reasons Luke Skywalker Is The Absolute Worst

19. Oh, the only romance he gets is from his SISTER.

27 Reasons Luke Skywalker Is The Absolute Worst

20. Yeaaah, I wouldn’t brag.

27 Reasons Luke Skywalker Is The Absolute Worst

21. Also he’s just kind of rude.

27 Reasons Luke Skywalker Is The Absolute Worst

22. I can’t believe you don’t shut up!

27 Reasons Luke Skywalker Is The Absolute Worst

23. Remember, when someone makes this face at you, it’s because you DESERVE THIS FACE.

Remember, when someone makes this face at you, it's because you DESERVE THIS FACE.

24. And he’s so self-absorbed. He made Leia comfort him when Obi-Wan died, like 10 seconds after HER WHOLE PLANET WAS DESTROYED. Dude.

And he's so self-absorbed. He made Leia comfort him when Obi-Wan died, like 10 seconds after HER WHOLE PLANET WAS DESTROYED. Dude.

25. Even Yoda thinks you suck.

Even Yoda thinks you suck.

26. Surprise, surprise. He’s pouting now.

27 Reasons Luke Skywalker Is The Absolute Worst

27. OK, once more for the road.

OK, once more for the road.

5 Ideas For The Settings of New Star Wars Video Games!

If you haven’t heard already, there are some new developments in the world of Star Wars. Electronic Arts (Known as EA) has bought the rights to the Star Wars gaming franchise! This could be a good thing. Perhaps we will see a new Battlefront game soon! And even better, it could be done by DICE, who created Battlefield 3! But here are some other ideas from where new games could come from…my personal favorite would be one about Darth Bane. Check it out.
Star Wars
Star Wars video games are going to happen again. The dark times following Lucasfilm’s closure of LucasArts seem to have ended, with Electronic Arts having entered into a multi-year partnership with Disney that will see three of its top studios deliver games aimed at “core” gamers, all set a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away.The three studios in question are BioWare, DICE, and Visceral Games. Of the trio, only BioWare brings actual Star Wars experience along, having developed by Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic and, more recently, the massively multiplayer RPG Star Wars: The Old Republic. Visceral Games, formerly known simply as EA’s Redwood Shores studio, is known best for its work on Dead Space. DICE is the bringer of Battlefield, but the studio also delivered Mirror’s Edge for EA. Now imagine some first-person Jedi parkour action.

There’s already some easy speculation to play with here. BioWare will no doubt continue to oversee SW:TOR, but the new partnership also now opens the door for a long-awaited return to the KOTOR line of stories. DICE hasn’t even worked on a Star Wars game before, but if the multiplayer shooter Battlefront is going to live on, it will probably do so in the Battlefield developer’s hands. Visceral Games is more of a wild card, but consider a scenario where the Dead Space developer nabs LucasArts’ unfinished work on Star Wars 1313.

Plenty of possibility here, to say the least. This is just the Star Wars that we all know about, however. Assuming the EA studios have free reign to explore the full breadth of the Expanded Universe (and assuming Disney decides to not disavow it all as non-canon), there are plenty of other time periods, locales, and narratives that a new crop of Star Wars games could turn to. Here’s a handful of one fan’s favorites, a “most wanted” wishlist, if you will. Sure, we likely won’t see any of this actually happen, but it sure is fun to think about. A general spoiler alert is in effect for those who haven’t read the books/comics.

Extra-galactic Bio-invaders

Star Wars - Yuuzhan Vong

One of the longest extended story arcs in the Star Wars novels, called New Jedi Order, saw the galaxy as fans know it torn to pieces as a fighting force of extra-galactic invaders appeared on the scene. The Yuuzhan Vong, as they are called, embrace the worship of pain and the practice of scarification. Their technology is entirely organic and they have a deep-seated hatred of electronics and mechanical constructs.

The Vong stampeded across the Star Wars galaxy over multiple books, overwhelming planet after planet and terraforming any environment unsuitable to their genetic makeup. Some species ended up displaced, others were wiped out completely. Chewbacca was killed. So was the youngest child of Han and Leia Solo, along with countless others. These were the darkest of dark times, and the galaxy-wide conflict provides a perfect backdrop for an action-driven video game.

The Birth of the Sith

Star Wars - Darth Bane

If you’ve seen the prequel trilogy then you’ve undoubtedly heard Yoda speaks of the Sith Rule of Two: “Always two there are, no more, no less. A master and an apprentice.” The Sith belief has its basis in the distant Star Wars pre-history, chronicled in Drew Karpyshyn’s Darth Bane Trilogy. Karpyshyn is a name you know if you’re a Star Wars fan; he was a key writer on both KOTOR and SW:TOR.

In the Bane trilogy, Karpyshyn recounts the story of how the sprawling Sith Empire was brought to its knees by an all-powerful Force-user who saw a better way. Bane’s story begins with an all-out ground battle between dueling armies of Sith and Jedi, a battle that turns out to be a trap in which both sides lose. Imagine a Karpyshyn return to BioWare that gives players an opportunity to become Bane in an RPG. Or perhaps one of his descendants. The long line of Sith pairings started here, and there’s plenty of fertile narrative territory to cover.

The Skywalker Line Lives on

Star Wars - Cade Skywalker

Dark Horse Comics has done incredible things with Star Wars over the years, but one of the publisher’s strongest is the now-completed 50-book series from John Ostrander and Jan Duursema, Star Wars: LegacyThe story is set almost 150 years after the Battle of Yavin, the site of the first Death Star’s destruction. All of the characters that you know from earlier Star Wars stories are gone, but some of their descendants live at the heart of the story.

Perhaps the most intriguing of these is Cade Skywalker, a descendant of Luke’s who gave up his Jedi mantle and embraced the life of a bounty hunter. Needless to say, the comic doesn’t let Cade get away with shunning his family heritage. The distant future of the Star Wars galaxy that Cade lives in is a dark place, with a new Sith Lord sitting on the Imperial throne and the Jedi forced into hiding. Fans learned late last year that there’s more to come for Legacy, with a new story set to focus on the great-great-granddaughter of Han and Leia Solo. A lady Jedi hero to star in an action-oriented video game? Seems perfect.

Unleashing the Force Again

Star Wars - The Force Unleashed 2

No one in their right mind will try to defend Star Wars: The Force Unleashed 2. The first game delivered a promising, if somewhat flawed, take on Jedi-infused third-person action, but the follow-up took a step backward. It felt like a game that had been neutered at some point during development, and then rushed to release. The finished product sported an almost offensively short play time.

That said, the writing was a high point. Much like the first game’s plot, The Force Unleashed 2 brought new revelations about some of the key characters and events in the Star Wars universe. Critics almost universally agreed that the story felt unfinished… so perhaps now is the time to finish it? Much like the never-materialized KOTOR 3, fans would like to see where the story of Darth Vader’s secret apprentice might have ended up.

Bridging the Gap

Star Wars - Empire at War

Many fans don’t realize, but there are significant stretches of time separating the events of Star Wars: Episode IV – A New HopeStar Wars: Episode V – The Empire Strikes Back, and Star Wars: Episode VI – Return of the Jedi. Many of those stories have been charted in books, at least as they relate to the three main characters. Yet there’s still a galaxy-spanning struggle unfolding during that time. The Empire continues to oppress and the Rebellion continues to buck against oppression.

What cool directions a game set during this period could go. Many attempts have been made in the past to deliver a strategy-focused game set in the Star Wars universe. None have succeeded in any significant way. No one in EA’s studio threesome assigned to upcoming Star Wars projects is particularly well-suited to a real-time or turn-based strategy game (maybe BioWare), but there’s still plenty of opportunity for another developer to come in and take on a different project. Bring on EA Phenomic and give us some ship- and ground-based warfare set in the Star Wars Expanded Universe.

Read more: http://www.digitaltrends.com/gaming/five-corners-of-the-star-wars-universe-that-you-didnt-know-about/#ixzz2ScVlp7BC

Star Wars Connections With the NFL!

Happy May 4th! Most people are now seeing this as a Star Wars day because you can say “May the Fourth be with you!” and it sounds like you are saying a line from Star Wars. That’s all well and good, but it also leads to pretty cool comparisons across different genres for my favorite saga. For instance, this one put on by NFL.com! Check it out, it compares NFL players to Star Wars characters!

Find the link HERE!